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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?